Why I Do What I Do; What Leads Me; What Sustains Me

The reasons for my vocation as priest today thirty years after my ordination are much more complex than they were on my ordination day in the Diocese of Trenton, New Jersey.

Thirty years ago, my reasons could be summed up this way: I wanted to be a priest because I had a desire to “work” for God, to assume a place of leadership in the church, and be part of a changing church after Vatican II — living with God's people and doing whatever ministry God and my bishop presented to me. I assumed that everyone else being ordained with me felt the same way.

Reality hit me when one of my ordination classmates refused his first assignment in a face-to-face encounter with the bishop. At that point I knew that we weren’t all on the same page.

Since those first days of ministry, my reasons for remaining in the active ministry as a priest have matured. My vocation as a priest is not a career. I do not “work” for God or the church as an employee seeking recognition, pay advances and a good retirement plan. My vocation as a priest is my life. What I do is the mystery of God’s handiwork with me. In a plan I do not fully understand, God has placed me in situations that required my presence as a priest. These situations have not always been easy and in many cases were horrible, painful experiences with other believers who were struggling to make sense out of the nonsense of their life. My vocation is to be in the midst of other believers as a strong witness, approachable and compassionate, and faithful to the promise of God that where two or three gather in his name, he is present.

A vocation to be a priest is not about what I do as much as who I am. I am a man of prayer. I strive to live my life as healer. I preach the Word of God first to myself and then in the presence of others. I cannot be faithful to God without being faithful to God's people. In my words and actions, I ask them to hold me accountable for what I say and do. I enjoy my life. I am surprised by what unfolds and humbled by what God presents to me for action.

What sustains me in ministry? The single most important dimension is my ongoing love affair with Jesus Christ. Without an ever-deepening relationship with Jesus Christ, I could not honestly remain a priest. In this relationship, I am both comforted and challenged. But without this relationship my life would be meaningless and without ultimate purpose. I maintain this relationship by actively listening in my prayer to the voices around me from others in my life (friends, professionals and parishioners) and through the active ministry of my personal spiritual director.

Father Paul A. Scaglione
Director, Office of Pastoral Care
Pastor, Saint Augustine Church, Louisville