"In Divine Order"

I have a very good friend whom I have known for 20 years. We met during a brief period of a few months when I lived in Chicago, Illinois. This friend is a deeply spiritual woman and has remained actively involved in the life and ministry of her parish since I have known her. Whenever I (or anyone else) greets her and asks, "How are you?" or "How are things going?" her response has always been the same. She simply says, "In divine order!" I know exactly what she means and agree fully with her. Furthermore, I cannot think of a more honest or more accurate way to describe my own journey through my life and my years of priestly ministry.

I grew up in New Orleans, Louisiana and have always been involved in church life. We were Methodist until my mother decided to convert to Catholicism. Being age 11 at the time, we (my four siblings and I) just went along with the program. We were baptized as a family (except my father) into the Catholic church the same year. Being a Methodist in my early childhood, I was the one sibling who not only went to Sunday School but also wanted to stay and attend the worship service with the adults. I recall being very attentive to everything that went on during the worship service — the choir's singing, the preacher's sermons, the active response of the members around me in the pews. Since we became Catholic prior to the event of the Second Vatican Council, it was a big adjustment for me to start attending the Mass in a foreign language, to not be able to see much of what was really going on, to not have any active role to play as part of the Mass and to not feel free to interact with anyone in the pews around me during the worship experience. So, when the liturgical reforms of Vatican II came along, I was probably one of the few in our parish who was more than ready for the "full, conscious and active participation" at Mass we were now being asked to incorporate.

Going back to my earlier years of childhood, it is also important to note the fact that we were the family that was closest to the pastor and his family. Thus, I grew up playing with his children and being around the minister, both in church and at home. I can distinctly remember looking up to him as a role model in my life. The few times he allowed me to walk with him from the parsonage to the church, I felt like I was as tall as he. More importantly, I had a great admiration for his style and ability to preach well. That had a lot to do with my desire to be a part of the worship service every Sunday. This close association with the minister did not change when we became Catholic. Once I became an "altar boy" (the term used in those days), I enjoyed being around the parish priests every chance I had. Although the experience of church was different than before, the close involvement with the priests of my parish gave me many different opportunities to observe the "human" side of these men, as well as their spiritual lives.

Another rather important development occurred in my life at age 11. Much to my surprise, I discovered that I had a musical talent. For reasons that still remain unknown, my mother approached me one day and asked if I wanted to take piano lessons. Although we had a piano in the house, I really don't recall any initiative (on my part) to give it much attention in my life. Anyway, not really knowing what I was getting myself into, I agreed. She found a piano teacher for me who was exactly what I needed. Once I began to get a good handle on what I was learning and started receiving a little bit of "stroking" from my instructor, the whole venture in learning to read and play music just took off! In a matter of 18 months, I covered four grades of piano lessons. By the end of the 18 months of lessons, I was playing the pipe organ and singing (by myself ) the Latin Masses for my parish.

Frankly, I never thought I was that good with the playing, and I certainly never thought much of my vocal ability. However, I always felt that I had the courage to "step up to the plate" and do, as best I could, what needed to be done at that time. There was one Sunday, in particular when I was playing the first of three Masses for the day. It was the earlier Mass when the church, typically, had a full attendance. Everything went well until we got to the closing hymn. Once the commentator announced the hymn, I played a strong musical introduction while the parishioners opened their hymnals to the given page. Then, something most unexpectedly happened. As soon as I hit the first chord for the singing of the hymn, nothing came out of the organ! Absolutely no sound was produced! The entire congregation, with hymn books and mouths open, turned around and looked up at me in the balcony. All I could do was look back at them and hunch my shoulders. Although we had no workable organ for the next two Masses, I still felt a responsibility to help to make the singing happen. So, at the young age of 13, I found myself standing in the pulpit and attempted to lead the singing from there! I say "attempting" because I wasn't sure of which notes I was pulling out of the air to get us started. All I knew was that I was going to do something to keep the worship going.

What does all this have to do with divine order in my life? Looking back over my life, I am convinced that nothing has happened by accident or by mere luck. Everything I bring into the church, as an adult Christian and as an ordained priest, is clearly rooted in my earlier years of formation, beginning with my life in the Methodist church. Those earlier years have greatly influenced my sense of what is good worship, good preaching and the importance of actively engaging the assembly in the process. No matter where I have been at any point in my life, going to church on Sunday has always been of primary importance to me. Everywhere I have been (including four years of travel in military service), I have found myself being somebody's church musician.

I came from a family with a long history (and heritage) of well-known preachers and church musicians — Methodist (on my mother's side) and Baptist (on my father's side). So, I have always been comfortable worshiping in churches of various denominations. Every bit of the Vatican II document, "The Decree on Ecumenism," made perfect sense to me! Most importantly, the ongoing church involvement and the variety of worship experiences that it brought have nurtured my faith life in powerful ways, keeping me open to God's will and God's way in my life. In many different and unexpected circumstances, it was my faith that gave me the courage to say "Yes!" to what I believed God was asking me to do at that particular time. For me, this is what it means to live "in divine order!"

For whatever were God's reasons at the time, I was called to a preaching ministry four years before receiving the call to ordained priesthood. I purposely use the term "called" because that is precisely the experience of hearing God's voice that I had. In my prayer life, I know that there are a variety of ways in which God and I commune. However, I can honestly say that God speaks to me directly at certain times, and I understand clearly what God is saying. The call to preaching ministry happened when, one day out of the "clear blue" I heard God say to me: "Prepare yourself!" That's all I heard. Of course, I inquired what I was to prepare for. There was no further response. This did not happen at a time when I was in prayer or engaged in worship, so it was quite unexpected for me. After giving it some thought, the only thing I could figure was to clear some other involvements out of my life and keep myself available for whatever was to come next.

Sure enough, the minister of a small church were I was currently the organist approached me and told me that she felt it was time for me to preach to them. I bitterly protested the whole idea and quickly reminded her that I was the church organist, not one of the assistant ministers. She left it up to me to think it over. I took the matter to God with the "Why me?" prayers. Naturally, there was no response from God about that. So, I very reluctantly decided to do this one Sunday-just to prove to everyone that I'm not the one to be preaching. I was sure that once I did this, everyone would leave me alone about the matter.

I must admit that preaching (for the first time) had to be one of the most traumatic experiences of my life! To this day, I could not tell you what I preached about! I remember feeling like I was standing in the middle of an empty football field, speaking out loud with no one there to listen. As soon as I finished, I quickly turned around to head for my seat. I distinctly remember taking a long sigh of relief and saying to myself, "I am so glad that I will never have to do this again as long as I live!" (Famous last words!)

Needless to say, my own resolution of the above matter has not proven to be the case! Within just a few months of that first preaching experience, a series of circumstances connected me with a cousin and an uncle (both in Texas) who were pastoring their own (Baptist) churches in the same town. When I visited with them some time later, both got into an active debate about whose church I was going to preach in that coming Sunday! Although I was not the one who was asked beforehand, I did agree to "do my best" at one of their churches. Thus began a four year period of travel and preaching in churches of different denominations. During that period, I never once sent out any announcements to anyone that I was available for any preaching assignment, but the invitations kept coming anyway! That told me whatever was going on was happening "in divine order"!

One should not be surprised when I say that the call to priesthood happened in the same way. I have often been asked, "When did you decide to become a priest?" Frankly, such a thing was not on my mind nor in my prayer. I was enjoying a very successful career in the business world and, at the same time, I felt I was doing everything I needed to be doing well in my spiritual life. It happened in the middle of a casual visit with a priest (while I was in Houston, Texas) that God spoke clearly to me and said: "Priesthood is for you!" At this point in my life, I had begun to pay more attention to what God was doing in my life. I had come to realize that the four years of preaching was taking me somewhere, but I just didn't know where! When I heard God say "Priesthood" to me at that moment (although I had not given it any thought), somehow it just made a whole lot of sense. I was not sure, however, where I was to go and how I was to pursue this. So, I just began to clear more things out of my life and be that much more available for whatever direction this would take me. I was now able to better recognize and trust more "divine order" in my life!

The other question I have often been asked is, "What brought you to Kentucky?" Well, it certainly wasn't my own choice to pick Kentucky as the place to spend the rest of my life! I was quite familiar with a number of dioceses on the East Coast (where I spent most of my adult life) in which I could pursue priesthood. In all my travels across the United States, I had never set foot in Kentucky! Furthermore, I had no family here. Once again, a set of circumstances brought me here at the right time when I was "shopping around.” A friend of mine (who is a Kentucky native) called me while he was living in Louisiana. When I told him that I was going to Kentucky for the first time to do a music workshop at a parish, he readily suggested that I look at Louisville as a possible diocese where I might apply. I wasn't crazy about the idea, mostly because I knew nothing about the local church here nor the people in this area. In addition to this, the five options I had already settled on seemed to be enough to worry about. Without taking his suggestion too seriously, I agreed to write a letter to the Archbishop of Louisville. Well, as they say: "The rest is history!" The final decision to come to Louisville (as opposed to all the other places with which I was much more familiar) was based on the simple fact that it "felt right." Certainly, coming here was no more my idea than was pursuing priesthood! However, I had learned the importance of being in touch with (and trusting) my true feelings. This is where I know God speaks to me. This is how I have come to discover what "divine order" really is!

Finally, as I reflect today on my almost 16 years of ordained priesthood, I can honestly say that I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be and doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I was quite happy with my earlier life as an adult, as well as the professional career I was blessed to have. More importantly, there was never a period in my life when I did not feel close to God or feel that God was not close to me. The whole idea of being called into priesthood just tells me that God has a better idea! I look back on every aspect of my growth and development — my gifts and talents, my knowledge and experience — and it seems that in the call to priesthood, God was saying, "Take all that I have given you in your life and through your priesthood, share all of it with everyone you meet!" This is what I have been trying to do for these past sixteen years.

In my priestly life and ministry, I have found a much deeper sense of satisfaction in what I do and more fulfillment in my life now than I could every imagine discovering elsewhere. The unfolding of "divine order" continues to this very day! Through the many wonderful experiences and new opportunities in which I have been able to minister, my trust in God's will and God's way just gets stronger and stronger. Perhaps the greatest "new" discovery of where God has taken me is evidenced in the ministry I have been doing in East Africa for the past eight years. So much of what has taken place there and all that I have been blessed to accomplish in ministry there has proven to be far beyond anything I could ever have imagined, let alone asked for!

I live a life of gratitude to God because of how God has chosen to use me to touch the lives of others and enrich them with the "good news" of redeeming grace. Like anything else, priestly life and ministry has its successes and its challenges — its highs and its lows. However, I am always consoled and assured by the fact that this has always been God's idea, not mine! I trust God completely because I have come to see that everything that has occurred and everything that continues to unfold is truly "in divine order!"

Reverend John T. Judie